Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
