im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
that may or may not have been my penis.
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