My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
