We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
