I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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