I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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