rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
