No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
