new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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