Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
