Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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