I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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