There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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