his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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