last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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