Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
