Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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