My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
