90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The struggles of a small town man whore
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
