That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
