chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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