he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
