Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this just has baby written all over it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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