But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
should my penis look like a turkey
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
