You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I love you. Go after that dick
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
