Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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