Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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