I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
