using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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