You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
