I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
