Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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