So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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