then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
