He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
