I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
