Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
