she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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