11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
