Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize