Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
