Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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