Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
