her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
