So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He literally asked permission to hit on me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
