What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
