yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
