You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
