Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
