Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
