Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
