I feel like abortions should bother me more
4 words: hood of his car
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
